James' Sodor Japes
by bbll22
Summary: *CHAPTER 2 NOW UP* James thinks he is most important engine on the whole of Sodor, however when he can't get his own way, thinks don't always go to plan. In these adventures, Sodor's no.5 will try and set out himself in way like he hasn't before, but that won't happen will it? James will always be James no matter what! Please review!
1. Nadia the Know-all

Lee's Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends

Stories

**Nadia the Know-all**

The history of the Island of Sodor is much cherished by all that live on it. There are museums, tours, books and festivals that all celebrate the wonderful back story the Island has had and the one that is yet to come too. One historian, Nadia Jones, is Sodor's best regarded on the Island and her popularity with people of all ages meant the Sodor Historical Society agreed to allow her to give an historical tour on the rails. It would be the first of its kind on the Island and one the board, the engines, and most of all Nadia were looking forward to.  
"It is an extreme pleasure and honour to do this," said Nadia proudly to the society upon hearing the news. "I am sure that we will make our history most entertaining."

It was early one morning on the Island and James was snoozing in his shed dreaming of being important and grand.  
"Sodor's finest," he mumbled through his sleep. He wanted to be the most important he had ever been and with the announcement of Nadia Jones historical train tours, James knew this was his moment to shine. Admittedly, he'd never been overly interested in the history of Sodor but an important job nonetheless meant it was for him. His dream got even grander and he could see himself with ribbons and rosettes and a new royal red paint scheme all across him. This was one of the best dreams he had ever had.  
"JAMES!" then interrupted a voice loudly. James startled and woke up immediately. His eyes were widen in the suddenness of it all and stayed that way when he saw the Fat Controller waiting in front of him. "Ahem," the Fat Controller then sighed. "Are we awake yet?"  
"Yes, sir…" said James in an embarrassed tone. He felt bad and he could see Edward next to him smiling widely. Edward was trying to hide the smile but he couldn't do it.  
"Ahem," the Fat Controller then interrupted again. "As you know, Miss Nadia Jones will be starting her new train tours within the next couple of days. I've been told by Miss Jones to select the train for the tour and seeing as work has dictated you two being the only options, I think it is only fair that on balance, James has the right flare for an entertaining history tour."  
"Well done, James…" congratulated Edward. He was rather glad to have not got the duty as he was already swamped with enough work as it was. James though wasn't inundated but was still very shocked at the announcement.  
"Sir!" he said in shock. "I can't believe it. I'm going to pull the history train?"  
"Indeed," smiled the Fat Controller. "Now, come Friday the tour will be ready for its maiden trip, so I'll leave this copy of the route for you and your crew to observe. Miss Jones is very much looking forward to this."  
"I am too!" beamed James as the Fat Controller left. Edward began to give his congratulations again but James couldn't hear him as he was day-dreaming again and saw himself as Sodor's finest once more…

James still couldn't believe things even on the morning of the first history tour. He'd been smartened up by workmen upon the orders of Miss Jones and a Sodor Historical Society crest was adorned on his footplate for the journey. James felt more special than he had for many years and loved the attention he was getting. There were photographers taking his photo and news reporters talking to him about the tour. This was the life for James, but soon he had to set off to join his open-topped carriages for the day. The sun was shining and everything was lovely; Nadia was dressed smartly in a yellow dress and summer hat and her hair was bunched nicely in a lovely intricate plait.  
"James!" she smiled as James backed up to the carriages. "My, it is wonderful to see you."  
"The same for you," James replied. He could see passengers eagerly waiting and soon they boarded in great anticipation of the trip. There were people young and old all aboard and James couldn't wait. Soon, he heard a guard's whistle and then they were off. Steam hissed everywhere and the tour was underway. Nadia was standing up and held a microphone to amplify her historical observations. The passengers oohed and arred and looked on in wonder at what they were seeing.  
"This," began Nadia as James slowed down to a halt. "Is the old ruins of Sodor's first manor. This is where an ancestor of Sir Topham Hatt lived here and worked wonders for all around." The passengers were impressed and the tour carried on in the same vein for much of the journey. James had been enjoying it but was getting more and more annoyed with Miss Jones knowledge of seemingly everything.  
"Does she know everything there is to know?" he thought. "It's a bit….arrogant…" he added as Nadia pointed out the latest landmark of the tour. They were soon approaching the halfway point of the journey and James brought the tour into Maron station for a rest while passengers stretched their legs and had a snack. Nadia departed with them for tea and scones but James wasn't overly pleased. Miss Jones' knowledge of everything was getting on his nerves and he told his crew just as much.  
"Well, she did have to prepare for this tour," said the driver. "It's all been rehearsed."  
"Yes, but even when people ask her something completely unrelated she has an answer for it, and it's the right one too." countered James. "She's a know-all. She's showing off…" James driver and fireman just chuckled and then left to get their snacks. James wanted the tour to be over soon as he'd simply had enough of Nadia's know-it-all ways. He could see Edward coming in the distance and Edward saw he was glum.  
"What's the matter?" asked Edward kindly. "Aren't you enjoying the tour?"  
"Yes and no," said James. "Seeing all the sights is wonderful and this crest on my footplate is marvellous, but I don't like Nadia. She knows everything and is showing off. I don't particularly feel important."  
"Nonsense," retorted Edward. "You're being really useful. Without you, this tour wouldn't be happening would it?"  
"I suppose," said James. "But I just want Miss Jones to stop knowing everything. The next time she answers something perfectly, I just don't know how I'll react."  
"Well from what I've heard," began Edward. "She only deals with facts. She doesn't like to think of stories and tales that have supposedly happened, it's not her way. She knows all the facts there are to know, but if you or someone mentioned something about a myth, fable or fantasy, I doubt she'd know all about them."  
"So, if I brought up something like the Ogre of Sodor, she'd be stumped?"  
"It's very likely." replied Edward. "But only use it when appropriate. She's a nice lady, don't upset her just because she's annoying you slightly." he then advised before setting off. James took it all in and prepared his plan before the second part of the tour was due to start.

"All aboard!" called the guard as the tour resumed and set off again. Nadia was still clearly enjoying herself and so were the passengers. The tour was looking to be a great success but James was still looking to stop Miss Jones' know-it-all ways. He'd taken onboard everything Edward had said and was just biding his time. His chance soon came when he came to his next halt point on the tour. It was a little through line that had recently been reopened. It overlooked hills and valleys and in the far distance was a little old stone ruin that was the area's key historical focus.  
"As you can see," began Nadia. "The ruin is hundreds of years old, thousands possibly."  
"Who lived there?" a child eagerly asked.  
"Currently, it isn't known. I would divulge in some guesswork but it just simply isn't my way at all." she replied. James then took his chance.  
"Er, Miss Jones?" he asked.  
"Yes, James?"  
"Do you think something like the Ogre of Sodor could have lived there?" he asked. "I mean, it is spooky looking."  
"The Ogre isn't exactly real," Nadia then stumbled. "It's…a….story."  
"But it's one of Edward's, he doesn't lie. All his stories are true. It's the same with Duke; the pair of them do not lie." he added with a grin etched across his face. The passengers agreed and began to mutter amongst themselves.  
"James is right," said one.  
"There's nothing to disprove the Ogre…" mumbled another. Nadia just looked on in shock. She knew about the supposed Ogre of Sodor and other odd tales the Island had but she couldn't believe people were actually discussing them as if they were fact. She looked horrified at the thought.  
"Right," she stuttered. "Any other questions?" "  
"Do you think the old ghost King lived there?" asked a man. "No-one knows where the ruins of the castle are. That could be them?"  
"The ghost King is just another story," said Nadia. "And please if people are going to ask about fables, works of fiction or just plain old wives tales, refrain from it." she then ordered. James was secretly smiling to himself and loved the fact she had stumbled her way through the last few questions. She had dithered and dodged like he'd never seen her do before, it was great. The passengers were not listening to Miss Jones' demands and children and adults alike were asking all sorts of questions about myths and tales they had all been brought up on. Nadia looked more horrified with each question and pulled at her bunched up hair. She clearly wasn't happy at all. "PLEASE BE QUIET!" she then shouted. She was shocked at the outburst herself as silence fell among the passengers. "I just said do not ask any more about such things. I deal in facts and facts alone."  
"You don't know a lot then, do you?" one child then said. Nadia was stopped in her tracks by the comment. "These stories are just a part of Sodor as the facts." they added. Others agreed and then muttered amongst themselves about it. James hadn't anticipated anything like this to happen at all and soon his crew decided it was best to get going again and best to head back home. Nadia just sat down quietly on her seat alone and for the rest of the journey all she could hear was people talking about things that weren't really there. The child had summed it up; she didn't know everything, and that shocked her.

It wasn't long before the tour arrived back where it had begun and even though the tour had ended a bit abruptly, the passengers were generally pleased. Nadia was last to get off the train and looked incredibly glum. James felt a bit sorry for her.  
"Miss Jones!" he called out. "I'm sorry if I caused any problems."  
"Oh, it's no problem," she smiled. "You were right and so were the passengers. Knowing all the facts in an odd sort of way has narrowed down my knowledge. I'm not open to these stories and possibilities, and you are right about Edward and Duke. They don't lie. I think the next tour might have to wait a little yet…I think I need to brush up on my Ogres and strange things before then."  
"I didn't think you'd take it this well if I'm honest," admitted James. "I thought you'd have been angry."  
"I was a first," said Nadia. "But I'm not now. I'm glad it happened because I don't know everything; it's a new challenge for me. I got things to learn and to embrace. The next tour will be even better because of this, and it's all down to you, James!" she then congratulated.  
"Thank you Miss Jones…" said James.  
"Nadia," corrected Miss Jones. "Nadia who doesn't quite know it all…" she then smiled as she and James just laughed.


	2. Hodge Rodge

Lee's Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends

Stories

**Hodge Rodge**

Martin Hodge is a kind and friendly man who lives on the Island of Sodor. He helps out wherever he can in his small minibus named Roger. Martin and Roger used to help out as a school bus for children across the Island but they now help out giving lifts and journeys to elderly residents on the Island with trips and activities that have been organised for them. The residents love Martin and they really like Roger too. He's a kind bus and even though he is painted white with only a blue strip along his side for colour, he is brimming with personality.  
"We do our best; we do our best…" smiled Roger one morning on a journey.  
"We do indeed…" agreed Martin, but the pair's good deed was bringing jealousy to James. Until Martin and Roger had started working for the elderly residents, James was always the engine that was chosen to take them on trips to beaches and shows all across Sodor. James didn't like not having the job any more.  
"It's not fair!" he thought to himself as he began to think up a plan to get him his job back…

It was a cold morning and Martin and Roger were taking a slow journey to one of the elderly care homes where they take passengers from. The trip was a simple one of taking the residents on a tour of the Sodor bakery. It was to be a nice and gentle trip – one that Martin and Roger knew wouldn't bring up any problems.  
"It's great to see you…" called the care home manager to Roger as he pulled into the car park.  
"It's nice to be here again," he said. "We do our best."  
"Well, the residents are on their way, so just have a good trip!" the manager then wished with a wide smile. Martin and Roger smiled equally back and as residents boarded Roger, Martin could see James going by in the distance pulling freight. He often saw James on his way round the Sodor roads and always tried to smile whenever he saw him. Roger tried to do the same but he could tell James didn't feel the same about him and Martin.  
"Taking my passengers again…" James huffed. "It's not right. That is my job." he then spluttered as he raced along the lines. Later that day, James was waiting at a station and saw Roger pulling into the station car park. He was grinning widely and so was Martin.  
"Ay up, James!" grinned Roger. "How are you?"  
"Fine…" said James quickly. He wasn't in the mood for talking to Roger but couldn't help but enquire about how he was doing. "Finished your job with the residents for today?" he then asked.  
"Oh yes!" said Roger. "It was wonderful. The bakery staff were ever so kind and gave everyone a free loaf of bread on the house! They even gave Martin two loafs!"  
"Huh…" snarled James. "Being kind and super-friendly isn't the be all and end all you know?" he then said. Roger was confused.  
"What do you mean?" he asked. "I'm only offering to do something good."  
"You don't have to though." said James. "Besides, if it was me doing this job still, I'd be taking them to exciting places that'll make them go wow, not bakeries where the most exciting thing is a newly-baked hot cross bun!" he then scoffed snootily. Roger just smiled to himself. He could see James was being serious though and after James had set off with his train, Roger began to think to himself.  
"Perhaps James is right…" he thought. "Maybe I'm not making my trips exciting at all."

The next morning, it was another cold and crisp day and Martin opened up his garage door to see Roger already awake.  
"Have you been awake long?" he said as he sipped on his morning coffee. Roger just sighed. He wanted to prove to James that both he and Martin could go somewhere interesting and get the elderly residents taking part in something interesting too. Martin was concerned with Roger's quietness though. "Are you ok?" he then asked to his friend. "Is your engine playing silly again?"  
"No…" said Roger. "I think I'd just like a change of scenery that's all." he added. "I think we should go and take the residents to High View Valley. We can see the Stones of Sodor then."  
"It's a bit cold for an outside jaunt, isn't it?" asked Martin.  
"We'll be fine. It's not as cold as it looks." said Roger. "We didn't have anywhere else planned anyway, so it'll be a nice change." he added. Martin soon agreed and Roger was pleased. The Stones of Sodor were a mysterious set of stones laid out on the Sodor valleys. They had a certain mystique about them and Roger thought it was certainly more interesting than a bakery for sure. "James will be pleased." he thought.

The journey had begun well and even though the roads to High View Valley were narrow and tricky to negotiate at times, Roger was enjoying going somewhere different. The strong cold winds may have been battering him along the way but Roger didn't mind at all. Martin was pleased to be going somewhere different too but was getting concerned with how Roger was coping on the roads. Roger was old and his engine was quite worn. Martin had been meaning for it to get looked at but had never got round to it. He grimaced every time Roger's engine crunched and cracked and had to laugh it off to his passengers.  
"There's nothing to worry about," he said. "Roger's just showing his age, that's all." he then smiled. The passengers didn't mind and wrapped up warm as the cold winds got even colder the higher up the valley road they got. Roger was glad his idea was going ahead and then suddenly his engine crunched again.  
"Ooh…" he said. "Don't do what I think you're about to do, not here of all places." he thought but Roger's fears became a reality as his engine spluttered and crunched again. The noises got louder and louder and Martin got even more worried.  
"Are you sure your engine's ok?" he asked to Roger.  
"No…" coughed Roger as his engine spluttered one last time before he came to a sudden halt. Steam hissed from Roger's engine loudly and the cold winds spread it out far and wide.  
"Oh dear…" said Martin.  
"Oh dear…" coughed Roger miserably. He felt awful and knew he'd let everyone down. His wasn't proving himself to be exciting at all; just more of an old nuisance.

The hours passed without any notice and concerns were only raised when James had pulled into his station near one of the care homes. He could see the care home manager looking out on the roads and to the rails and they looked very worried.  
"What's wrong?" asked James driver.  
"Martin, Roger and the residents haven't returned yet. They were meant to come back a couple of hours ago."  
"That's not like Martin or Roger." said the fireman.  
"No," agreed the manager. "It's starting to get dark now too. We're all getting worried."  
"Where did they go?" James then asked.  
"They went to see the Stones of Sodor as far I'm aware," came the answer. "Roger said it was going to be an exciting day for everyone." they then added. It then dawned on James what had happened.  
"I didn't think he'd actually do something…" he muttered. His crew looked over suspiciously at him.  
"What do you mean?" asked his driver. "What have you done James?"  
"I…I…I just made a point that Roger and Martin's trips weren't exciting enough. I said I would do better, and that's obviously set it off."  
"You've done it this time, James…" said the fireman angrily.  
"I'm sorry." he apologised.  
"It's not good enough." cut in the care home manager. "I've got several residents out there up in the valley in freezing cold weather. They're not safe."  
"Dryaw's not far away, we'll try and get Harold out there…" said the driver as James soon set off. They raced along the lines and with cold winds battering them at this low level, they all wondered how Martin, Roger and the residents were coping high up in the valley. Soon they arrived at Dryaw and alerted Harold to the problem.  
"I'll locate them as fast as I can, chap." he said as he was soon into the air within minutes. James looked on worried and hoped everyone was going to be ok. He wished he hadn't said a thing at all now and just hoped Harold would find them fast. He didn't anticipate anything like this to have happened at all.

The winds battered Harold high in the sky as he struggled to keep level and straight in the air but he fought on and soon located something on the roads with steam hissing out of it.  
"There they are!" he called grandly as his pilot messaged across the news down to level land. Martin and Roger could see Harold slowly getting closer to them and soon he had landed on a piece of land next to them. "Get aboard everyone!" Harold then ordered importantly. "I'm here to take you home!" he added grandly. The residents cheered and slowly made their way to the safety of Harold, but Martin was staying put.  
"Go on, Harold." he said. "I'm staying here. I can't leave Roger on his own. Not in this cold, it's not happening."  
"Fair enough, Mr Hodge." replied Harold. "We'll send out Butch to tow you back home. He'll be here as soon as possible." he added as soon he rose into the sky before heading back to low land and then the care home itself. All then fell silent for a few minutes in the valleys before Roger then spoke.  
"You should have gone with them." he said. "I'd have been fine here. It's my own fault for all of this anyway. I just wanted to prove to James that we did interesting trips too."  
"It's no matter, Roger." smiled Martin as he tried to keep himself warm. "That's James for you. Besides, it's been an interesting day for sure." he added with a little smile. Roger agreed and the pair of them chatted happily until Butch the breakdown vehicle arrived to tow them home. James was waiting anxiously for them when they got back down the valley. Roger looked worn out and James felt very sorry for him.  
"I shouldn't have said what I did," said James. "I was just jealous of not having the job anymore. I'd do it my way and you do it in your own way. I should never have had a go at you. The residents obviously enjoy all your trips. They really like you, I'm sorry for all this."  
"Oh, it's no problem," smiled Roger. "A change of scenery was nice but I certainly don't want to be going up High View Valley for a good while at least. Not until it's a lot warmer for sure." he then added with a laugh. James smiled but could see Martin had something else to say.  
"Now, it's all fine and good that you two are getting along, but James I think you'll be working with the residents for a while again."  
"Why?" asked James with a puzzled scowl. He seemed very perplexed at Martin's statement.  
"My engine's knackered…" said Roger simply. "I'll be out of action for a little while. I take it you'll be fine with the job again, won't you?"  
"Oh of course!" smiled James widely. "Thank you!"

From now on, whether it's James or Roger on duty, the elderly residents of Sodor always have an option to give them a trip to somewhere special on the island. The pair get along great now and work together well. It may have not begun on the best of terms, but James and Roger certainly are good friends now who live interesting lives enough as it is. There's no need to try and make it any more so indeed…


End file.
